a bad day yesterday

i thought everything's gonna be alright..i thought i got nothing to worry about..today i just made a mess in my life...

we had our orientation for practicum yesterday afternoon..and surprisingly, we were the first batch that have been given new requirements..during orientation, i was making plans already on how can i accomplish them..so first, i have to make a resume and application letter to be submitted also yesterday afternoon (on the spot)..that was not the problem for me coz i can make one..then, after i submit the resume and application letter, i have to inform our dean that there was changes in the schedule of my subjects..so, the working student took my load slip to show it to the dean..but then, unexpectedly, the dean became mad coz i didnt inform her anything before i change the schedule of my subject..because of that, the pain that i've had during my high school days came back..there was a pain on my chest again, i started crying..and when i start crying while the pain wouldn't stop, its hard for me to stop crying..i dont know what's wrong with me again..but im glad that someone took care of me..

during that moment, my mind wasn't in the prob bout my practicum..but i was thinking like going to the hospital to have a check up and to ask for a medicine to calm me down..but then, i was worried that i'll faint on my way to the hospital, so i just went home..it was almost 8pm when i got home..and my mom wondered why i cried..i cant tell her much bout the story..the details will only kill me...

anyway..one way or another, i realized that..i'm not tensed talking with an authority..i face it with confidence and respect..im a good listener..and i just wanna let her know bout my side of the story..she didnt gave me the time to explain why my sched was like that..im just hopin that she'd hear me out first..and if there is a problem..i cant undo my mistakes..i didnt know what i was supposed to do..im hopin that next time she wont get mad, listen first then find solutions..and i wanna apologize if i made her lose her temper...even though she's not reading this..i just wanna express how i felt about what happened..rejection is a big thing for me..i can accept criticisms, judgments..but im finding it hard to accept rejections..especially now that im a graduating student..and i hate myself for not knowing that i still have to inform the dean about those changes in my schedule..

anyway, i'll apologize later..and thank those who helped me relieved...