destiny???

"please dont let thing feeling end,

its everything i am,

everything i wanna be"

what if...there is no such thing as "DESTINY"?..i think lovers would exert more effort so they wont be apart..i notice that most of us right now are taking our partners for granted..knowing that they will always be there for us..but i just wanna remind you guys that all of us get tired at some point, especially if efforts are not appreciated..

we just have to be contented of what had been given to us, and whatever has been given i hope you'll appreciate it..coz once its lost, you'll have regrets..the most important thing that we should be doing..is we have to try...we have to try exerting effort and fighting for what we believe in..whatever might happen..if you got what you want or not, its ok..as long as you have tried to make it work, right?..it will not be your loss...

have you ever experienced fighting for someone before, but then it didnt worked out?...and right now you're afraid to try again...its because, you're afraid of getting hurt for the same reason....a friend once told me that if you wanna be happy with your life, if you wanna be with someone, you have to risk it all..and make everything work, be able to adjust...coz once you push something in your own way, wherever you wanna be, you can never be there...

at some point, i have experienced before, being in a situation, where he and i loved each other..and we were so happy together..we're like kids...and i was sitting outside, in the stairs..he just came to me and made me smile...at that time, we're still strangers...i honestly wasnt expecting that i'd be able to love again..but then i did..and when we were together, i remembered, there were lots of hindrances came our way..and what made us strong..is that..we were still there for each other no matter what happens..no matter how complicated it was..it was all worth it...you know why?..because we fought for something special...and i felt how magical it was, when i realized..we were happy..coz if i lost him or he lost me, we know that we would be miserable...i felt happy especially when he introduces me to his family, his mother is very nice to me, as well as his sisters and cousins, and friends..there's nothing more i could ask for...one day, he knew that i was worried about us..(he does have a gf and they didnt had any formal breakup, and i know that they still have communication)..one morning, he called me, know what he told me?...he told his mom that he wants to get married..(who's the girl?..me)..surprised as i was..everything happened so fast..but then...as time flies..people change...after a couple of weeks, he started making me feel like he's going to leave me..he started asking questions like "if i would be leaving you, will you allow me?"..we had an argument at that night, he knows that i loved him, then he was asking me that question..what i did?..i fought for it..he knew how painful it is for me..the next morning..he apologized....from then on, we were much stronger...(to make the story short, in the end, it didnt worked out because some people prefer to be somewhere else than to be with you----just a flashback from the past).....

my point is..look at me..i didnt had any regrets of that relationship..because i tried..they knew how much i tried..it just..didnt worked out as i had imagined it would be...im still happy though, coz i know one day, i will be happy...just keep on believing...and just do what makes you happy...=)

but i lost my appetite...its been a few weeks....hayts...

let me check my health status

though we're all busy in our careers,

health is still our wealth..

dont forget to check the labels..

last night, i talked to my close friend, he told me 'nangangayayat na naman daw ako'...i've been stressed a lot lately..i can't sleep at night..i think im falling asleep at 2am/3am..i dont know what's been happening to me..im always keeping myself busy so much and i tend to ignore my health issues before...(hopin its not comin back, but its starting to show)

i love having veggie for lunch...but still, its not enough...migraine is coming back..hayts...i really hate it when my migraine attacks...i just wanna sleep all day...anyway, its not yet too late...i have to take care of my health and probably take care of my looks too?...(gosh,im so ugly)..

maybe i have to buy fruits again?...i feel like i wanna go back to what i was before...too much conscious of what im eating so i wont get fat, exercising twice a day...i miss those days...

pgpcncyahan nyo na aq..gs2 q muna magpost lang ng mgpost sa blog q kah8 alang sense, ok?

kaya nga aq lumayo db...para d q na xa makita...tapos e2 nong nakabalik naman aq bigla nacra araw q nong mkita q xa....tapos dagdag eksena pa 2ng isa lalo 2loy aqng nbd3p ah...anu nga ba nangyayari sa kin ngaun?..sabi ng kaibigan q, masyado p daw aqng affected?...22o ba?...ahy naku, bt p kc aq bumalik eh..nagccc 2loy aq...oh..puro shortcuts na mga tntype q d2...kelangan eh..baka kc may isa jan na itranslate 2ng post q sa english eh malaman mga cnasav q..kaya e2 shortcuts nlang....

nong andun naman aq, nakalayo n nga...aun, may ngppancn pa..kainis pa ung isa dumdskarte...tapos d p makontento sa asawa nya at tatlong anak...anu ba 2...

e2 pa ah...may kilala aqng nakabuntis, sa mayo xa manganganak, pinaasa nya ung babae oh na uuwi xa, tapos ndi pala...ehh bt pa nila gnawa un qng d rn lang naman nya kayang panagutan ung babae db?...tas ung lalaking un n nkabuntis meron pang sugarmommy...panu, financer nya, binblhan xa ng grocery, ahy naku alagang alaga talaga xa, kawawa naman ung pangalawa nya, eh kah8 may anak ung pangalawa nya, tao din namn un n masasaktan db,,inaalagaan n nga xa tapos nagloloko pa...e2 pa...meron p xang pangatlo...kabatchm8 nya nong hayskul ung babae nya..tntawagan gabi gabi...ung gam8 p nyang load ung binggay sa kanya ng pangalawa nya...d pa tayo tapos ah..meron p xang pang apat..nililigawan nya sa trabaho..panu parang supervisor ung lalaki eh..

ilan lang yan sa mga kalokohn ng mga lalaki ah..kawawa talaga pangalawa nya...nakakausap q p naman ung pangalawa nya kc bnbgyan ako ng advice...hay, mga lalaki talaga oh...d makontento sa isa oh..qng d masaya sa una, dun naman sa pangalawa...anu b yan...

ndi naman sa gal8 aq sa mga lalaki ah...ung akin lang naman..sana naman m22 taung mkonten2 sa qng anu ung binigay sa tin...tapucn muna ung huli bago magcmula ng bago, qng meron k na, wag kn mghanap p ng iba...guys ah, ung mga gngawa nyo d maganda, pinagla2ruan nyo lang buhay ng ibang tao eh...cnasav q lang mga 2 kc nasaktan ung kaibigan q...kaya naiiinis aq ngaun...kaya pacncya na sa mga natatamaan q...

wag nyong hntayin mwala sa inyo ung taong pnphalagahan kau..kc d n tau mkkhanap ng k2lad nla...pag btwan nyo man cla, cguraduhin nyong bbtwan nyo cla, wag ung paglalaruan mo pa tapos sasaktan pa....anu b yan....para naman taung d tao eh..parang "asal hayop" mga ugaling pinpkita ninyo....

"I LOVE YOU" daw sabi ni lorenz...wag mng kalimutan un huh?..kaw na bahala qng mamahalin mo din aq..pero la k ng magagawa eh talagang mahal kita eh....

nakz naman...

..aun...d q na alam qng anu n nangyayari sa buhay q ngaun...am i lost ba?...hmmmm?..parang nblanko ata aq sa nangyari ds past few days ah...hay naku,,,can i just take away the pain?...mukhang natatawa naman ata aq sa mga cnasav q eh...posible ba un?..hmmmm?...what do you think?

ganito talaga ang buhay noh..may taong darating, meron namang mawawala...pero panu ba?..panu nating magagawang d umalis ang isang taong naging mahalaga na din sa buhay natin?...pwede bang maging equation nlang?..ikaw ung fixed tsaka ako ung variable?...para naman ung resulta dedepende sa ting dalawa db?...

ala lang...sumagi lang sa utak q tong mga pinagsasasabi q ngaun...para na 2loy aqng timang....

note: qng cnu man nagbabasa ng blog q, pagpcncyahan nyo na aq ngaun huh?..talagang magulo lang utak q ngaun...d q makapag icp ng tamang sasavhin eh...

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have you ever wondered why there's always a reaction for every action?..why is there always a 'negative' to a 'positive'?..why do we always have to undergone something to achieve something?...why not just take shortcuts?..got a little idea?...can you please help me out?...i need a little more point of views about this...

in my opinioth, we're experiencing both sides of the equation in order to be stronger...everytime we fall, we have to rise up again..and by this, we acquire skills...with these skills we can make life easier...hayts...im not sure of what im saying right now..

"just ride with it"...that's what they're saying..."everything depends on what kind of environment you're in"..for sure, there's a lot of quotes out there talking bout these, butin just one statement..can we just find an explanation that can be applied in general?...

hayts...

there's always a reason

no matter how difficult we're facing in our lives..

we can always find ways...

i've been keeping in touch with someone who's very close to me lately..phone calls, text messages, facebook..its really sad knowing that a friend of yours have been going through a lot of difficult moments in his life lately...and im just not there close to him to comfort him...i idolize him a lot..very very honest, he's not afraid of telling me the wrong things that he did before..

i remember one night, when i feel so sad..and i was almost crying outside the boarding house coz i was depressed, he just came to me and told me many jokes just to make me smile..of course, with his cousin and my other boardmates..i wont forget those people who was there whenever im down..

lately, he's been having some troubles with his budget..and i tend to cry whenever i hear his sad voice on the line...im always trying to make him feel better...suggest solutions...i mean..everything's gong to be alright...its not like its everyday he's facing the same kind of problem, right?...i learned many things from him, and i hope he's going to follow even just some of my advice to him...hayts...

there's always a reason why we're undergoing these things in life, some people just dont wanna read between the lines that's why their problems just getting bigger and bigger...the important thing is, we learn....

what am i planning to do with my life?

never experienced this freedom before..

never been happy til now..

i made this decision for myself i think..to be living far away from home..im always saying to myself.."utilize everything that you have, so there'll be no regrets"..but as i try and try to do these things, some areas in my life are taken for granted..like my health..

the vision in my mind...my life could be..just living in an apartment, working..buying stuff i wanna have through my own salary..get a car..but honestly i dont really wanna live in a city..i just wanna make life more easier..and more convenient...im making a deal with myself, if it will come true, i will buy a new pet..so i wont be homesick..if not, i'll just work abroad..

i still love watching movies..movies, movies (oh that kinda reminded me of someone)...anyway, these days..i dont know why i feel so alone..people change, and their feelings changed too...i cant contact most of my friends coz i changed network..i dont even know why i did that..maybe i just wanna use one number...

going back to what i was saying..im planning to have a family before 28y/o..so..i still have more or less 8yrs to find "the one" whom im gonna spend the rest of my life with....just wanna have a happy family..and that would be enough...whatever our situation may be, as long as we're happy, nothing's impossible...

what about my ambitions?..modeling?..hmm...i think i dont fit for that kind of career..may be i can do catwalk, but im still worried on the output of photoshoots..i dont know yet...anyway, im just thankful that i know a little bit about everything, just pieces..at least i have an idea, right?...

i miss having a real conversation with someone...just exchanging ideas, learn new stuff...(you think i should study again?...nah, just kidding)...i wanna meet new personalities..adjustments are good..making yourself more flexible...encountering different people with different experiences in life...

now im lost....i dont know what i really wanna talk about here....

confused?..

til next time...=)