what am i planning to do with my life?

never experienced this freedom before..

never been happy til now..

i made this decision for myself i think..to be living far away from home..im always saying to myself.."utilize everything that you have, so there'll be no regrets"..but as i try and try to do these things, some areas in my life are taken for granted..like my health..

the vision in my mind...my life could be..just living in an apartment, working..buying stuff i wanna have through my own salary..get a car..but honestly i dont really wanna live in a city..i just wanna make life more easier..and more convenient...im making a deal with myself, if it will come true, i will buy a new pet..so i wont be homesick..if not, i'll just work abroad..

i still love watching movies..movies, movies (oh that kinda reminded me of someone)...anyway, these days..i dont know why i feel so alone..people change, and their feelings changed too...i cant contact most of my friends coz i changed network..i dont even know why i did that..maybe i just wanna use one number...

going back to what i was saying..im planning to have a family before 28y/o..so..i still have more or less 8yrs to find "the one" whom im gonna spend the rest of my life with....just wanna have a happy family..and that would be enough...whatever our situation may be, as long as we're happy, nothing's impossible...

what about my ambitions?..modeling?..hmm...i think i dont fit for that kind of career..may be i can do catwalk, but im still worried on the output of photoshoots..i dont know yet...anyway, im just thankful that i know a little bit about everything, just pieces..at least i have an idea, right?...

i miss having a real conversation with someone...just exchanging ideas, learn new stuff...(you think i should study again?...nah, just kidding)...i wanna meet new personalities..adjustments are good..making yourself more flexible...encountering different people with different experiences in life...

now im lost....i dont know what i really wanna talk about here....

confused?..

til next time...=)